Tricia the Artist

Expression of my perspective.

Reflections and Ramblings

Life Is Short - How Do I Want to Live It?

Posted by Tricia Drover on January 8, 2016 at 12:40 PM Comments comments (0)

Unfortunately the overwhelming sense of impending doom and chaos in the world has not improved much in the past couple of months. The hardest part about this generalized anxiety is that I am not the only one experiencing it. It is harder to move past the fear when it is validated in others.

However, fear for the future is never logical because you simply never know a) what will happen and b) what impact that event will have on you personally. 

As much as it feels like a cowardly move, I have decided to create a bubble for myself until I can either deal better with what is happening in the world or the world seems a less terrifying place. 

That being said, I can imagine this bubble being in place awhile...

However, regardless of the state of the world or the amount of clonazipam I am taking, the fact remains that life is short. Even if none of these terrible things happen, one day this life will end for me. I will not always be here. The people and places I love will not always be here. All things are transient. All things are temporary. All moments are one moment.

While I struggle to accept that, I also know that it means I need to do a better job of focusing on what I really want in life. What do I want to accomplish? What do I want to do with my life? If I were to die tomorrow, or next week, or next month, would I be happy with the way I had spent the hours between then and now?

These are the goals I am setting for myself. Not New Year's Resolutions, but just goals on ways to help me better enjoy my time on this planet:

1. Write a book and try to publish it. For real. No more saying that I will do it one day, or that I almost did it once. Time to become a real author.

2. Meditate daily. Although I also want to continue with yoga and mindfulness, it is the mediation habit that I think will truly change my life.

3. Have more (and better) sex. Focus on my sex life. Try new things. Enjoy my partner. He is pretty amazing :)

4. Cut out social media as much as possible. I am not going to get rid of my Facebook or Instagram entirely, but I would like to go down to checking them only a couple of times a week. And definitely never, EVER facestalking anyone anymore. That is a complete and utter waste of time, and time is the only precious commodity that we have absolutely no control over.

5. Be more mindful with my children. Not only do I want to be more present when I am with them, but I also want to set a better example with my actions. I want them to grow up to be compassionate people that are amazed by the world around them, so I need to be that person too.

These goals are ambitious, but as someone that has set (and successfully achieved) goals since I was eleven years old, I feel confidant that I can look back on this entry in a couple months and feel like I have made some real progress.

2016 will be the year of being the person I am meant to be.

On the Loss of a Pet

Posted by Tricia Drover on June 23, 2015 at 12:20 PM Comments comments (0)

Such a small little light

Shining from a tiny soul

Yet so much love

Is given

Freely, without expectation

The love we give

WIthout strings

Is the love that holds us up.

RIP Sniffles (June 18, 2015)

Positive Change

Posted by Tricia Drover on April 24, 2015 at 6:00 PM Comments comments (0)

I am currently sitting in my new office at my new job, filled with new optimism about life.

Freedom at Last!

Posted by Tricia Drover on February 6, 2014 at 3:05 AM Comments comments (0)

I have been dealing with a very challenging person in my life for a long, long time. Six years, to be exact.

But now I don't have to deal with them anymore :)

Oh, they still exist and will remain in the periphery of my life but I don't have to interact with them any longer.

That is the first step to sweet, sweet apathy.

I had been wanting respite from the drama for awhile but I didn't want to burn bridges. That decision, however, was made for me and now that the smoke has cleared, the air tastes wonderfully sweet.

Now I can stop paying attention to things that don't matter and refocus my energy on my personal journey.

The Year of the Horse has begun well indeed!

Gung Hay Fat Choy, everyone!

Back to the Grind

Posted by Tricia Drover on June 9, 2013 at 1:20 PM Comments comments (0)

Back to work tomorrow after my year "off". These past twelve months have been the best of my life. I am sorry to see them end.

How do I feel about heading back to the office? 

I feel a lot of things. Sad. Excited. Nervous. Determined. Apprehensive. I'm a big bundle of emotions right now. 

A lot of changes are about to happen in my life. I am perched on a precipice of change and tomorrow is the day I jump. Once I land everything in my life will be different. I feel that I am ready for what is about to happen - I have certainly planned enough for it! - but as anyone that has been on this earth for any length of time knows, plans can change in an instant. I have no idea what is going to happen in these next few months.

I have to accept, and embrace, the uncertainty. Life is a gift and you recieve it best, and live it best, by holding it with very open arms.