Tricia the Artist

Expression of my perspective.

Reflections and Ramblings

One Year Later

Posted by Tricia Drover on December 28, 2016 at 2:10 PM

A year later and things certainly don't look any rosier; at least not in terms of what is happening in the world.

A year ago I was afraid and that was before Donald Trump was going to be president. 

A year later and yes, I am still struggling with anxiety. I still fear the future. I am still avoiding the news.

However, the actual events of the past year have actually been really wonderful for me personally. 

Career-wise, this year was probably the biggest of my life. I achieved a major career milestone with my CRSP designation. I received a raise and promotion at work, with the promise of more of the same in the coming years. I love my job. It is fulfilling and challenging, yet I don't feel that it creates stress or tension in my daily life.  I like my office. I like my co-workers. I like the owners of the company. Work is a happy place for me. 

At home, things are wonderful. Odin is finally getting the recognition and help he needs for his ASD. Arlen is a happy and intelligent boy who has shown great promise in many areas (reading, math, swimming, etc.) Donald and I are happy and hoping for another baby to join us in the coming year. My father is in better health and spirits than he was a year ago. My sister and her husband moved to a beautiful piece of property and now have a charming farm full of animals for us to visit. My other sister is happier than I think I have ever seen her. We have many friends in our lives, including some new friends we made over the past year.  Our lives are filled with people that we love.

I was able to make some really beautiful memories this year. Weddings, babies, weekend getaways - 2016 was full of amazing moments.

Financially we are secure. Overall we are healthy. We live in a beautiful space in a beautiful place. 

We have health, wealth, and safety. 

It is perhaps this near-perfection of my current that makes me so apprehensive of the future. Life cannot stay so good forever. Maybe in some ways it is easier to think of apocolyptic, world-ending events than to fear the more likely things that could rob me of my personal happiness. 

We do not know what the future holds. It is inevitable that all things will end. In the fullness of time we all become anonymous. To waste today being fearful for tomorrow makes no sense. Tomorrow will take from us the reality of today. But tomorrow never really comes. Today - this moment - is all we will ever know. We do not have to deal with tomorrow's reality yet. Worrying about it will not make tomorrow better.

Live concious that your decisions will have repercussions, but do not live in fear of things that you cannot control. Tomorrow is - and always will be -  something that you cannot control. 

Give thanks that today is here. It is a gift. 

Categories: Musings

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